In my personal and professional life, I've seen what I call the Four Sacrifices of a Leader emerge again and again for those who seek to be effective leaders on a large scale.
The sacrifice of being underestimated
The sacrifice of being uncredited
The sacrifice of being misunderstood
The sacrifice of being disliked
While difficult to endure, knowing they are coming can help you prepare for the experience and embrace the journey.
Let's explore each one:
1. To be underestimated
Being new in a leadership role often brings two challenges. Your team is making their first critical assessments of you. And, imposter syndrome usually emerges strongly at this moment. This can significantly undermine your confidence at the start.
You may need both to learn about your team members as well as build up new domain knowledge relevant to your responsibilities. Even if you are transitioning from an individual contributor role to new managerial responsibilities, you are apt to be scrutinized carefully by skeptical colleagues.
This especially happens to young leaders who are taking the reins of an established team with deep experience.
Learn first. Start by collecting as much direct data as possible.
Listen carefully to what you hear, but focus on the data and not the opinions from your team. Make your own assessments instead.
Act decisively, but be open to correcting early errors. The goal is to assert your leadership while respecting your team's knowledge and experience.
Effective leadership requires courage.
2. To be uncredited
Once you've established yourself as a leader and begin to have successes, you'll quickly discover others ready to take credit for your progress and achievements.
Always direct deserved praise to your team. Trying to claim it as your own often looks petty, frustrates those you depend on, and diminishes the likelihood of future positive performance from your team.
Be prepared for the priority exception to this rule: failures are always yours to own. Accept them personally, protect your team, and work to build back a path to better outcomes.
Be ready when others try to claim your success as their own.
Respond by redirecting the praise to your team. Avoid trying to claim it as your own as that undermines your team's trust and confidence in you.
Be ready to take personal responsibility for failings and errors of your team. Own it so that you have the credibility to drive significant improvements in a safe and trusting environment.
It is important to protect your team members from being singled out for criticism from outside your team. It's your job to provide the corrective guidance necessary to make sure those errors are never repeated.
3. To be misunderstood
As you become more established and develop a clear plan for your organization, you will encounter a new challenge. Your bold plans will encounter new resistance. Now, instead of being underestimated, you are in some ways, feared.
Your plans for greater success will require change and change is always resisted by some. Now it's time to advance your communication skills.
Be bold. But respect the need to communicate your vision clearly and sufficiently to help them embrace the changes required.
Now is the time for clear communication and difficult conversations.
Take in useful feedback, but don't lose sight of your vision and priorities.
If you have built trust, you will make progress even when not everyone embraces your vision.
Don't ignore confusion or dissent. Address it. And, resolve it.
4. To be disliked
The final sacrifice of a leader is one of the hardest to embrace. It will always remain a challenge: the courage to be disliked.
This is a superpower for anyone, but especially benefits leaders as long as it is properly understood. Don't pursue being disliked, but instead recognize it as a consequence of taking action.
To live a life without criticism is similar to living a life without failures. It means you aren't pursuing challenging and meaningful progress.
It's impossible to take massive action and not upset someone's idea of what you should do or how the world should be ordered. Don't let others limit what you are capable of doing. Don't give others that power over you.
Being willing to be disliked without it changing your priorities is a superpower worth cultivating.
You must be willing to be disliked to be a high achieving leader.
This is not a license to be a jerk. Don't pursue being disliked any more than you pursue adulation.
Expand your world and embrace the reality of being disliked.
Caption: Expand your world and embrace the reality of being disliked.
Action Summary
Leadership is hard and it can be lonely, too. Accepting that you will likely suffer the four sacrifices of a leader if you pursue meaningful achievement can free you to recognize and address them each in stride.
First you will be underestimated.
You will see others take credit for your success.
Some may fail to understand your approach and priorities and even fear the change.
And ultimately, some may simply dislike you and your approach.
Don't fear the challenge. Embrace the opportunity to grow.
Have you experienced these challenges? How have you responded? Reply to this email and let me know.
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To your success,
Christopher
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